You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
