i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
