Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
