I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
