Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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