Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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