Nicole vs. Life
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
