I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
