I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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