how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Even my vagina gasped.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
