Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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