Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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