just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
