Your tits are I can't wait for
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
