I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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