She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
