This girl is more easily done than said...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
