remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
