one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
