Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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