This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize