$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
