just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
