After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
