What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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