I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
