well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
