Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
