You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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