and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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