I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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