"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
