please come you make the beer taste better
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize