And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
