She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
