dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So many bounce houses so little time
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
