he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
