im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize