I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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