thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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