Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
