I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
