you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Watching her eat just hurts me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
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