3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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