I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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