i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think I am morally bankrupt
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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