Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
