absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
