So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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