Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize