I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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