Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
