If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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