question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize