What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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